A riot?......

...that'd be a relief and less stressful to an old gal like me than having this moron, Volpe, around my house all the time. Guess what the twit was up to today? Chasing a garden hose, that's what. The Old Fella is in the habit of letting him out first thing so that he can....you know.... on the concrete out back. They put a gate on some time ago because they said that when I, (blush), "passed water", it killed the grass. Look at the beautiful lawn in the pictures...can you believe that tosh? Personally I think green grass is over-rated anyway.......sniff. Anyway, the retard , (Volpe that is, not the Old Fella), decided to drop his pants on the concrete so that the Old Fella had to wash it away. (Serves him right I reckon..... LOL). So O.F. (short for Old Fella...get it?; no flies on us Cross Labs), gets out the hose and turns the water on, not remembering that The Retard loves to chase the water jet.So.....

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Here we see The Volpmeister chasing a jet that he can never catch......what a giggle. What a moron. He chased it for some time, until the O.F. said, "Enough now Volpe, we mustn't get you too excited else your lumps will never go down". Hey....for me, I'd excite him out the gate without a leash and in a heart-beat. He's got his feet, (all three of them), too far under the table for my liking, that I can tell you. So, anyway, after a while the water was turned off and The Volpmeister looked like this....

Did you ever see anything like it? Just imagine if you had to share a bedroom with this twerp? But, you know, somehow he seems to grow on everyone.....yep, ...even me. But I digress, I did tell you I would tell you about why he has to go see Doc S at the Veterinary Clinic so often. It seems that for some reason he has these big lumps on him. One is on his left flank just in front of his useless,broken leg, while the other is right on his back above his bum.....(blush......can I say that?)... right where his tail starts. Big mystery I can tell you. They're filled with blood which would indicate internal bleeding, but they don't know what caused them. Aunt Sal, (she's not really my aunt, she's only got two legs, poor soul, but the O.F. and The Missus insist that I be polite), thinks they may have been caused by rough-housing with other dogs during transport to Canada. The O.F. says maybe they come from an injury resultant to whatever broke his leg in the first place. Who knows? He refuses to tell me....part of emphasising his masculine mystique I reckon. So The Volpster goes for blood tests to try to find out what's wrong with him. I wouldn't want to pay Aunt Sal's Vet bills you can bet.......that'd take all of my treats for a year I would think. But you know, I think he likes the attention, comes back with a big smile on his face, and brags about being petted by Doc S and her Gals. What a brown-noser.

That's it for now, I don't want o get you folks too excited either.......down boys, down girls.......

Your friend,

Cleo

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